Perhaps, The Only Way Out is Through.

I have been deliberating for the longest time whether I should start a blog to chronicle my caregiving journey. The reason I have existed in this conundrum is that we live in the most "vulnerable" generation yet. By this, I mean that everywhere you look on social media and the Internet at large, people are sharing even the most minute details of their everyday lives. There is a proliferation of "get ready with me", "a day in my life", etc. videos that are meant to invite the observer into the happenings of the subject's life while allowing the subject to remain connected in an increasingly disconnected world. [Isn't it funny how, for a generation that has been able to achieve numerous ways to remain connected on a global scale, we are the most alone we have been in the past centuries?] As a human being in need of connection and understanding, I can relate to this perverse need for our lives to be validated by strangers online; in a post-pandemic world, this need has increased even more. The global lockdowns imposed during the COVID-19 period just proved to us how much we cannot handle loneliness; we need all sorts of distractions to help us escape that damning feeling of being alone in the world. And in a world where you can access the validation of hundreds of people at a time with the single click of a button, there has never been a better time in history for me to tag others along on my journey of being a caregiver at a young age.

Yet, the most profound truth I have come to learn and accept in the past few years is that caregiving is one of the most personal journeys one can embark on. There is this incomplete portrayal of caregiving in the media as being a "pure" undertaking; "You are so strong for being able to handle this like a champ." A statement, with all its possible iterations, that I have heard time and again. People view caregiving as this saintly activity that guarantees one an extra point on the name list for people going to heaven. And while this is true, to an aspect, what most people don't see or realize is the grueling work, time, and effort that goes into being responsible for another person. I have been a caregiver for the past five years; with all honesty, the "sunshiny" days have been few and far between. The hard and dark days are the ones that I have encountered and gone to battle with more times than I can remember. And while I have gotten through them, I am not unscathed. Understanding this personal truth has been the contributing factor to my present dilemma.

When I was beginning caregiving back in 2018, I searched in vain for resources tailored specifically to my unique need - an 18-year-old girl taking care of her 50-year-old single mum diagnosed with an early onset neurodegenerative disease. Suffice it to say, this search was one of the hardest and most heartbreaking activities to this day. There were no publicly accessible resources for young caregivers despite the rates being on an increasing trend. As more people become sick, old, or a combination of the two, the number of young caregivers continues to rise. This was made worse by the pandemic which "prompted a greater percentage of Gen Z and Millenials into caregiving roles for the first time than those of prior generations" (Jablonski, 2021). While this statistic is beginning to garner attention now, it was not acknowledged at the beginning of my journey. Additionally, the caregiving resources that existed were mostly centered on the care for elderly parents (> 65 years). For a young steward like me back then, this lack of proper resources set me on a dark and confusing path that only began to light up in 2022. While the light did eventually come, it was dark for one of the longest periods of my life. Remembering this fact gave me the much-needed courage to start this blog.

If you have made it this far, congratulations. This is where the real fun begins. This blog is designed to be a chronicled, honest, raw, and unfiltered account of the past five, plus current, year(s) of my life. It will provide a detailed account of Caregiving 101 and how this duty has and continues to shape and mold me into the person I am today. Think of it as a personal journal of sorts. But why share it with others? Well, I am hoping that if an 18-year-old caregiver out there, whose whole world as they know it is collapsing in on them ever comes across this blog, they will remember they are not alone. They will know that someone else has walked that journey and made it through - kickin' and cryin' and screamin' but made it out nonetheless. And maybe they won't have to wait 4 years to see the light. It is my hope that this blog will be the beacon of light and understanding they need to make it through. And if you're not a caregiver, that is still okay. You might know someone who is; may this blog help you to understand them and their journey better. To echo the wise words of one Miss Taylor Swift, "Hard things will happen to us. We will grow more resilient because of it. We'll recover, we'll learn from it. And as long as we're fortunate enough to be breathing, we'll breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, and breathe out." 

P.S.: She's a doctor now so she definitely knows how breathing works!   

References.

Jablonski, E. (2021, June 8). It’s Time to Acknowledge the Increasing Number of Young Caregivers – Carework Network Responds